The “New Normal” of Marriage

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There are two types of people: those with 9,000 emails in their inbox (15 opened) and those with 3 emails, each neatly labelled.

I’m the second. Only one email is always left in my inbox. It’s the last email my husband sent me before we got married.

Before we got married, Matt and I emailed every day. Often multiple times a day. Whether we were nearby or hours apart, that was important to us. Email was how we told each other stories, kept tabs on our plans, shared encouragements and were just “there” for each other. That was our “normal.”

The day we got married, our “normal” changed.

Sure, we still send emails. Sometimes just up and down the stairs (yeah, yeah, I know.) But we can go days without emails now because our “new normal” involves waking up together, hanging out through the day, a shared calendar in our room, notes of encouragement hidden in clothes, on laptops, with the newspaper, etc.

I love our “new normal” –even though it’s been a couple of years by now. But I keep that email in my inbox to remind me that this thing we’re doing did have a start. It did have a beginning, witnessed by a lot of people we love, and it was in obedience to the Lord. Our getting married was the start of a new family and came with new routines, new traditions, and new expectations.

That’s important to me, and I try to keep a reminder close.

It’s really easy to resent a lot about marriage, and to diminish it. From shared schedules to putting someone else first, marriage requires humility, patience, and respect or else it suffers. And that can be hard.

The very presence of that email just gives me a little reminder: God gave me this guy as a gift. I waited for him. I could hardly stand being away from him. I made a commitment to him. My life is knit together with his. Our life together had a start, we had a say, and we get to keep building it. We get to live and love this new normal for the rest of our lives –together.

Most people list their wedding day as one of the best days of their lives. The email gives me a little taste every day of why that was the best, even when I get distracted by others things or simply forget to cherish my guy as much as I should.

What reminds you of your new normal? How does it keep your rooted in your marriage?

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