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“Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.”
There are some things I just don’t understand about my husband. I don’t get:
- Blasting the music at a deafening volume
- Why video games are really any fun to play at all
- Hanging your shirts up so they all face the same direction and are sorted by type
Likewise, I know there are a few things he just doesn’t “get” about me. He can’t grasp:
- My need for things to be tidy before I go to sleep
- Writing out to-do lists for every single day
- Spending 4 hours in the kitchen baking cookies “just for fun”
We’ve tried. He’s spent time in the kitchen, I’ve played a few video games. At times, we’ve asked each other “why?” or “what is about that…?” But, when it comes down to it, I could walk another 10 miles in his shoes and he in mine and we both would probably wind up with sore feet, just as bewildered.
One thing we have in common? We both really, really like to understand things before we embrace them.
“If there’s a good reason…” each of us has said to each other in a moment of tension suggesting that maybe a video game isn’t worth wasting time on (oops, did I say that?) or that sleeping with a mess nearby won’t kill you (but, really, it might!!)
Here’s a good enough reason, though: He cares about that.
Differences aren’t the same as flaws.
When it’s a big deal to someone you love, let them have that. Let them have those (okay, a little odd-shaped) shoes of theirs and go walk a mile beside them in your own.
You don’t have to make their shoes fit your feet or make that mile interesting to yourself to accept and encourage your spouse’s interest (or, for that matter, anyone that you love!)
Remember, love isn’t self-seeking. Your way, your preferences, and your opinions on your spouse’s hard-to-understand “things” need not get in the way of peace and love for all those miles you walk together in this lift.
((Disclaimer: I’m not advocating embracing or accepting another’s sin or unhealthy interest/habit. When you witness a loved one engaging in something wrong or flawed –that’s different, and you are responsible for accountability. ))